The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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