maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
