I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
