is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
