someone get that fucking seahorse.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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