You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize