You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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