Christians are straight up FREAKS
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
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tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
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I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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