I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Pappa wants mamma naked
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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