batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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