So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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