So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
