Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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