I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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