maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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