had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
