Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
