We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
