I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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