Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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