do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
