do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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