It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
