so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
