uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize