Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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