I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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