So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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