How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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