I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
