I cockslap morals
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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