Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There's always time for handjobs
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
