Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
How does one acquire holy water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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