The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
from now on my penis is your penis
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
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I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
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I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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