i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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