he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
