Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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