I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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