You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
