Sry I called you an 8
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize