wat bout pragnant strippers??
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
