So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
