My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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