We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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