He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
