well you can't waste a boner
she smelled like a LAN party
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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