"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you traded sex for a burrito?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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