Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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