What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize