I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
