when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
