considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
