I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I love you.
Bad choice
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
