We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
