I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
