That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
